I love seeing people walking by with little smiles on their face because something small happened that made them happy. Maybe they got a cute text, maybe they got laid, maybe they killed a man. You will never know.
ever wondered what the exact spot you’re sitting in looked like 10,000 years ago
what if in school instead of raising our hands we raised our legs
When you have a really “good” answer.
why the hell are toilets so loud?!! like i’m half asleep and then i flush and it’s like a fucking mariachi band just started playing in my house at 3 am
asexual? no you misheard me, i’m 'eh?'sexual, i’m only attracted to canadians
"Dad, I’m gay."
"Hi gay, I’m dad."
"Dad, I’m serious!"
"Serious? I thought you were gay!"